Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Let Me Tell You My Big Secret, SBB Vendors.

(I wrote this a year or two ago for a Spring Bada-Bing publication and thought maybe it needed some air, so here it is again...)

Here's a secret: I'm not crafty. I'm not. Sure, I was a VCU craft school graduate (magna cum laude! I don't even know what that means!) and I'm, uh, a member of the Richmond Craft Mafia (seriously, you'd think they'd make it a prerequisite or something but NO! HAHAHA they took me anyway, lured in by shiny jewelry and fast talk.) I make jewelry so I have a craft, sure, but I ain't crafty. Don't tell on me.

Here's what I mean: I don't knit, I don't sew, I don't decoupage, I don't embroider (not even ironically) and I take simply awful photographs. I don't paint or draw or do any of the things that a lot of crafty folks seem to do effortlessly. The first time I heard the term "felting" I heard a completely different, and very dirty, word and I'm still not sure I understand either one. When the idea of a group quilt was mention I visibly paled and punked out with an iron-on transfer. LAME. I KNOW.

But this lack of craftiness is why you, an indie show vendor, should love me. I will totally buy your stuff because I will never speak that dreaded phrase: "Well I could do that myself much cheaper." (I REALLY HATE THAT PHRASE.) I totally can't do it myself! I wouldn't even know where to begin to make my own perfume, crochet my own manatee or take a really great photo of...anything! Therefore, I must buy yours. Don't you love a non-crafty girl? I thought you might.

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