Friday, February 08, 2008

How To (Creatively) Torture Your Neighbor.

Every morning on my drive into work I go by a house that is festively decorated with two yard-dwelling garden gnomes. One of them, who stands on a big rock on the corner of their property, fell over into the grass two months ago.

It drives me crazy.

I thought about, uh, "rescuing" him but apparently when you take something that technically doesn't belong to you it's considering "stealing." I don't really want to get arrested for gnome theft and end up on the police blotter:

• A St. John Street man reported someone forced open a
window to gain entrance to his home and stole a .22-
caliber and a 410-gauge firearm and a pellet gun.

• A Southside woman was arrested for theft of a garden gnome.
When apprehended she clutched the gnome and told police she
"wanted him to have a better home."

• A Mapleton Drive woman told police she could hear
voices through her smoke detector.

Tres embarrassing. Anyway, instead I decided that the gnome should send the residents a little note requesting that he be righted. I mean, who wouldn't want mail from their garden gnome? Long tradition and all. I decided to send a postcard but not just ANY postcard, a gnome postcard. Where the hell does one go to find a gnome card? Why, Etsy! Where else?

Etsy: Your place to buy & sell all things handmade

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